Home » blog » 2 Lukes and The U – Ponzi schemes

Posted by on August 19th, 2011 in blog, CFF Features, Dan Pierson | 2 Comments

When Yahoo! Sports recently unveiled the findings of their 11-month investigation into the alleged “sustained…eight-year run of rampant NCAA rule-breaking” at the University of Miami, I couldn’t help but think “man, I really hope ESPN does a sequel to ‘The U’ about this!”.  I mean seriously, what more could you want?  Hotel-suite parties?  Check.  Cash bounties for knocking out Tim Tebow, Chirs Rix, and numerous others?  Definite check.  VIP rooms at nightclubs and bars?  Absolutely check.  Oh, and you want open-door access to a $1.6 million yacht stocked with booze and food?  Yes sir, check that one too.  Actually, the more I think about it, forget a sequel to “The U”… I need a full-length feature film about this stuff and I needed it years ago.

In all actuality though, is anyone even mildly surprised by the allegations presented by Yahoo!?  Maybe the blue-haired suits at NCAA headquarters will claim they are “horrified” by the findings presented in the article, but I think we all know that behind closed doors Dr. Mark Emmert (the current NCAA president) and his henchmen in Indianapolis will just shrug their shoulders and say to themselves, “well boys guess that cat’s out the bag” and return to their cigars and fine brandy while planning their next retreat.  Meanwhile they’ll send their investigators to confirm the allegations made by Miami “booster” Nevin Shapiro, and ultimately strip away some Hurricane wins, scholarships, etc. etc. – all in the name of upholding the rather antiquated “rules and standards” of the NCAA.  I could write for days about the joke that is the NCAA rule book, but now’s not the time for that.  I think we can all agree the system is broken when Bob Stoops lives here (attached image), yet the 18-23 year olds that determine his fate live here (attached image); or when Ohio State turns a $35 million profit from their football team, yet Terrell Pryor can’t autograph his own replica jersey for a few hundred bucks.

                     

But back to the juicy stuff… honestly how awesome is Nevin Shapiro? (aka “Lil Luke” – a nod to Luther Campbell, aka “Uncle Luke”)  Guy is basically the best wingman a college kid could ask for!  Just hosting parties at his Miami Beach mansion while stocking the fridge with booze, drinks, and food… bowling tournaments at Lucky Strike like it’s nothing… deep sea fishing trips in the offseason.  And on and on it goes.  And to the “high and mighty’s” who want to point a finger at the players?  Give me a break.  If somebody comes to me and says “hey here’s a grand, go get something nice” or “hey, wanna take my million-dollar yacht out on the ocean?”, I’m putting on my swim trunks, flippy-floppy’s and nautical-themed pashmina afghan and heading for the boat so fast your head will spin.  And if I’m being honest with myself, I’ll worry about the repercussions later never.  Anyone who would do otherwise is either lying to themselves, or is a complete stiff and probably not reading this site anyways.

p.s. – Teddy Dupay is without question the greatest alias ever

 

 

2 Comments

2 Comments for this entry

  1. BB says:

    As a parent, I can only hope to have the luxury of entrusting my college-bound, starry-eyed child to the Teddy Dupays of the world. You know, those who exude class with every breath they take. At least ol’ Nevin will have an opportunity to do some soul searchin’ every time he drops his bar of soap.

    Oh, and why was he giving money to Bob Stoops?

  2. H-LANDER says:

    I am looking for like minded college football fans interested in putting all their eggs in the PONZI scheme bussiness!

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