Home » CFF Features » Bert Mayo » Big Times in the Off Months

Posted by on January 26th, 2012 in Bert Mayo, blog, CFF Features, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

As quickly as it began, the 2011 college football season is now in the rearview mirror, after yet another installment of SEC dominance.  To their credit, they did throw us a change-up by giving us a national champion that failed to win the conference, so there’s that.


So now what?  This is what happens every year (that is, the eventual end of the season), but many of us still have trouble dealing with the open slots on our Saturday calendars (for some, make that Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and wherever ESPN is able to cram in an intercollegiate contest for our viewing pleasure).  In light of this perennial crisis, we at CollegeFootballFreaks.com have taken it upon ourselves to provide you, our loyal readers and the very reason for our existence, with suggested activities for filling this sudden void with meaningfulness.   So here goes:


-Family:  Now that the season is over, you may notice people in your home from time to time.  If your home is like mine, this may include some little people and possibly one other big person.  Allow for the possibility that the little people are in fact your own children and the big person is your spouse.  Get acquainted with them.  Share a meal with them.  Help the little ones with homework, or at least explain to them why your school’s offensive backfield of ’87 will never be equaled in your estimation, and that drawing any comparison to it with modern-day athletes may result in a severe beating.  Recognize that, at one point in the history of you and your spouse, there was a romantic connection.  If it is not too late, may we suggest an attempt at restoring that relationship.  She may see this a weak attempt to fill the time void left by the football season that was, or a shameless ploy for intimacy that didn’t seem to matter during your team’s magical run to the conference championship, but remain steadfast in your efforts to win back this woman’s affections for the next seven months.



Interspersed amongst recruiting newsletters, next season’s printed/laminated football schedule, and mountains of scouting reports on your school’s crop of recruits, may be envelopes containing “bills”, “account statements”, and other forms of financial correspondence that are deserving of your attention.  In some cases, you may find that the phone calls that have served to interrupt your football viewing over the past few months were, in fact, efforts by creditors to collect funds that you actually owe them.  If one of these institutions happens to be your cable or satellite provider (or their collections representative), please do not delay in dealing with this, as we wouldn’t want anything to jeopardize your ability to tune in next season from the comforts of your own home.  Other bills may be of some importance, but be certain this one is handled with urgency (well, electricity will likely be important as well, to provide power to your set).  Beware of words such as “foreclosure” and “wage garnishment”, as these could be indicative of further problems.



I’ll state up front and for the record that I prefer golf, but since golf would bring an abrupt halt to my “f” theme that I’ve begun here, and for at least one more important distinction, I am suggesting fishing.  Why the “f” theme?  In the same fashion as I ended up with three children who share a common first letter of their first names, it just unfolded that way, and I felt like I must continue.  My preference for golf is simple – the worse I am at the sport, the more action I enjoy while participating.  I can come up with twice the ball strikes of a decent golfer, whereas the real fishing action is only for the sport’s gifted participants.  Now, back to my reason for proposing fishing for you, our faithful reader.  It’s simply more relaxing than golf, which is exactly what most of you need after a season of blood-boiling, impassioned indulgence in college football.  You will have your choice of casting a line for a variety of waterborne creatures, some of which will allow you to simply bait a hook, cast, sit back, and wait for the action, which may never come as I’ve come to realize for myself.


Feng Shui:

Bear with me here and give this a shot.  What a better way to spend a winter or spring Saturday than to incorporate the five elements of this ancient Chinese art in an effort to restore peace, harmony, and balance to your home, particularly in 2012, the year of the Water Dragon!  Not to insult anyone’s feng shui intelligence, but the five elements of course refer to wood, fire, earth, metal, and water.  Each element has its corresponding color or colors, and might I suggest using some green in the East feng shui bagua area of your home for improved health?  If you are a seasoned feng shui practicioner, I do hear that the Chinese zodiac system can be approached with feng shui, which could provide you with helpful insights into possible 2012 energy patterns.   I haven’t the slightest clue what any of this means, but it sounds like something that could tie up my small brain for a period of time.


There you have it, college football enthusiasts, four sure-fire ways to not suffer through, but relish your time between now and August 2012.  I hope you’ve found this beneficial, and we’d love to hear back some reports from you from time to time, regaling us with tales of trophy largemouth, family breakthroughs, financial victory, and of course, your feng shui exploits.




2 Comments for this entry

  1. JS says:

    I think I like the Feng Shui the best, I’ll give that a try…….

Comments are now closed.