Home » blog » Off Season 1Liners..Twilight 5 – Team Mike Takes the Field

Posted by on August 25th, 2012 in blog, Brady Baylor, CFF Features | 1 Comment

 

A mere 425 miles east of Forks, WA, where vampires and werewolves battle each other and put their mad skills to the test over a local teenage girl, Pac Twelve newcomer and erstwhile Texas Tech head coach Mike Leach takes over the helm in Pullman for the Washington State Cougars.  Fans of the Twilight book and movie series fall into one of two camps, Team Jacob (the hunky werewolf who can’t afford a shirt) or Team Edward (the predictably pale but refreshingly thoughtful vampire).  I’d like to be the first to introduce Team Mike.  In performing my due diligence for this piece, I did take the online Seventeen magazine quiz to see if I belong to Team Jacob or Team Edward.  I learned that I am Team Edward all the way, because I am apparently “a vampire kind of girl” and I’d “be a perfect fit with Edward and the Cullens”.  A born worrier, this will surely bring on an identity crisis for me, but I’ll force myself to continue.

 

Sure, Leach’s Cougars will lack the trademark immortality, superpowers, and possibly the romantic appeal that somehow caused my wife to read some twelve thousand pages worth of Twilight novels in two days, but they will have Leach himself, who at times can be equally far-fetched and even more unpredictable.  While the vampires have a penchant for large game (bear, elk, et. al.), Leach has a penchant for offense, and it’s a safe bet that he won’t fail to entertain either, albeit not likely on the scale of Twilight’s success.  Seriously, though, if Leach could form an alliance with a well-meaning coven of vampires such as the Cullens, its members all possessing ridiculous speed, and Jacob’s tribe of werewolves, who possess power on par with an SEC defensive line, he would clean house on the west coast and beyond.  I’m just sayin’…

 

Word of warning to Cougar players: stay away from confined spaces when Mike is around, particularly if you are not in his good graces, because he may just see fit to subject you to involuntary and solitary confinement.

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1 Comment

1 Comment for this entry

  1. Cuz says:

    It is great to have Mike Leach back in college football. He definitely brings a lot of entertainment to the sport. Oregon and USC better watch their backs.

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